Denial is it a positive thing or a negative thing?

Hello everyone,

Thanks for checking in with me. It is so important that we continue to share and develop our self awareness.

Throughout our day and our lives we have to wonder are we in denial? Do we accept the various scenarios we find ourselves in? For instance, as parents, when we notice something different about our child do we accept it or ignore it? Do we do research and ask questions to find out if this behaviour or reaction of any given situation is the norm or something special?

It can be so challenging to accept that your child might be special, that they have additional or complicated needs. You can go through stages where you compare your child to your other children, or children of your friends or family.

I ask you, when is denial a good thing? Could it be when you know that it will help you to cope with your situation?

I do not know the answers, but I know the questions I have been asking myself and others. Let us consider if we stop being in denial, maybe we can get the support and help each other to know that we are not alone and it is alright to ask questions and ask for help.

Take care and remember fake it until you make it. You will succeed and ask for help when you need to.

Cally

http://www.somespecialpeople.com/

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Why is it so important to listen?

Hello everyone,

Thank you for checking in with me. I have had a nerve racking couple of days because as I am about to suggest to you it is vital we really listen to what someone has to say.

People talk and communicate with us in so many ways. With our busy and hectic lives it is easy to avoid seeing all the clues, which can warn you that something is drastically wrong.

I am so glad and grateful that I have a wonderful guardian angel, which seems to always be there for me, even though at times I question why is something not going the way I want it to. When I have really needed things to work out for me they truly have.

I have just returned from the hospital, my youngest son was admitted with breathing difficulties and I can tell you it was such an awful experience seeing him grasping and his body working so hard to breathe. He was so drowsy and I was pleading with him to stay awake and not go to sleep, but he said I am just so tired. (I thought to myself if he is talking he is awake.)

It was so incredible how this life threatening situation escalated. He had a slight cough but the weather was bad and most children have a cough now and then I was relentlessly told. When it was home-time his dad told me that he just sat on a chair outside his class and said he was tired. On the way home I saw them and I ran up to them and he said mummy I am so tired carry me. My instinct told me to comply and I did I put him on my back and carried him home and told him he should change and lie down and watch a movie.

I spoke to his father and asked if the teacher had mentioned anything to him about our son and he said no. I asked his father how he was on the way home and he said he was a bit tired and walking slower than usual. I checked on my son and he was resting in his bed and seemed fine. The cough was not regular and so my friends and family said don’t worry about it so I tried to not be too concerned.

A short while after he fell asleep and I went to check on him again. During the evening he woke and was back on his schedule and things seem fine. But in the night he had begun to cough more frequently and he didn’t sound that great. I was not too pleased but friends and family dismissed my concerns with it just a cough or a common cold which child doesn’t get them now and then it builds up the immune system.

I had a restless night and made up my mind that first thing in the morning I needed to get peace of mind, so I would contact a doctor. By the time my son was with the doctor my son was so tired and his nose was flaring and his throat was thrusting and his stomach was moving vigorously.

Needless to say he was rushed to the hospital and given the required treatment and thus I have had a heart wrenching 24 hours. It took a long time for the breathing to not be such hard work for him but he is full of energy now and has a care plan to follow.

Hear my warning! Listen, don’t ignore or be dismissive because someone could be relying on you to hear them and to take action from hearing your words.

Thank you for letting my beloved child be on the road to recovery. Keep on believing and don’t give up on things working out for the best. Fake it until you make it so you succeed always.

Why is it so vital for us to make time for ourselves?

Hello everyone,

Thanks again for checking in with me. I am glad to say after sharing my stories about stress and behaviour management issues, lots of tips and words of wisdom have been given to me.

One of the most useful bits of advice I was given was to reflect and remember that whatever is upsetting or worrying you will one day just be a distant memory, so breathe and get through the day. This to me is so important to remember because when I reflect and look back at all the challenges I have experienced I know that I made it through. We can always make it through if we breathe and fake it until we make it.

We must stop, ask for support and help. We must look on the bright side of life and find something that we enjoy. I have signed up to do another 5k run for charity. It will give me a purpose and reason to take time for myself, and to take some time to train. Consequently I will feel better and make positive changes.

There are so many demands on parents that we have to remember the best way to take care of our children, is to take care of ourselves. If we are healthy and happy we can give our children a stable, positive and nurturing environment in which to thrive, so that they can be their true self and know confidently that no matter what they are valued, loved and respected.

Good luck to all of us, let us all remain positive in all situations and know that we are strong, capable and significant beings that will be triumphant. We have grit and determination and we are on a winning team.

Thank you for your support and listen to that person you know especially if crying out to be heard.

Cally

Remember to visit my site and get those book reviews and event details and I will promote it and so we can support each other.

http://www.somespecialpeople.com

How do you feel when your child has a melt down?

Hi everyone,

Thanks for checking in with me. It is so important that we share our challenges and successes. I know that I feel better knowing that I am not alone. There are so many people that seem to have a perfect life; but when you talk to them and they are really open, you find out you are not alone or the reason why they are coping is because they have the support of a nanny/childminder.

Yesterday I found myself thinking why me? I was trying to get my children to school and things were just not going smoothly.

So before I share this story I am going to tell you that Dr. Laura Markham made me feel somewhat better because she made me realise I am not alone. Feeling that you are the only one who experiences these melt downs that trigger: self doubt about your abilities to do a simple task like getting your children to school, can make you feel very inadequate.

I often wonder if other parents’ dread simple activities like taking their children to school. I wonder if others think these things to. Have you experienced the most embarrassing melt down that you ask yourself why is this happening, why did I do things slightly differently? Why did I not avoid this whole situation by being prepared for any and every eventually? Is the even possible? Well until you are party to one of your children having a meltdown it can feel life it is lasting for an eternity. But we need to share, if no one is telling you they have experienced this behaviour from their child, you can feel alone and embarrassed.

So what was the latest melt down incident for me? My colleague texted me to let me know an early morning meetings was on the schedule and I suppose my mindset was already in the wrong place because I knew there were going to be some variations. So I was thinking: what were the odds that this was the day I had to deal with my youngest having a melt down? I just could not believe it.

My youngest was holding on to the fence refusing to move, yelling, crying, screaming, kicking out if anyone tried to touch him. The whole time this is going on people were looking and commenting on his behaviour and my mind was racing, I don’t have time for this I have to drop you off at school, everyone is looking at us. This is all because I didn’t pack the exact pack snack (his brother ate them) and I didn’t fix his pants the exact way he likes it and he didn’t see the people he usually sees…. This is when I called for my inner strength and I asked for help and I started to remember to be grateful (this helped me to feel somewhat calmer). Then I was able to get back to the task at hand. I had to think of a distraction so he was able to snap out of this moment of upset. (This time it was getting him to remember something pleasant I planned for him).

So remember to let others know what happens to you, so we know that others understand and are not judging you.

Share your experiences so there is more awareness and understanding. Don’t let that stress build up! Let others give you tips and advice that has worked for them. Behaviour management is challenging, lets work together.

Remember to visit my site for book review, tips, and ideas.

http://www.somespecialpeople.com/giveaways.html

Thanks take care try to stay calm and fake it until you make it.

Cally

What can you do to help your child with their homework or learning?

Hi everyone,

I shared with you the battle I experience getting my middle son to start and complete his homework. You reached out to me with suggestions. I have read :

The Homework Wars: Strategies To Finally Win The Homework Battle [Kindle Edition]
By: Mercedes Samudio

Parents and children alike will cherish this book. Mercedes has a remarkable ability to take a topic like homework and create a fascinating page turning insight that transports you into the mind of a child. Whether it is evoking memories of your own childhood and school experiences, to reflecting on your child’s experience in and out of the classroom.

The Homework Wars: Strategies To Finally Win The Homework Battle provides strategies that in are in a easy to read and understand format. You are able to absorb the information with ease while remembering your own experiences.

The additional resources such as Homework battle map really compliment this excellent book. The map is in a visually appealing format and reminds you of the six strategies in a handy format.

In addition to the Homework war sheets which provide ideas on what your child could do to relax before starting homework.

This book is a concise guide to helping you to understand why it might be challenging for your child to start and complete their homework. It also provides guidance for you to follow to make it more of a manageable experience for you and your child.

Let us share our resources, tell each other about books, resources or ideas that worked for you. What can we do to help our children to succeed?

Should we be the type of parent that has a book in their hand studying so children know we do homework as well?

Good luck to us all as we continue to find the path to helping our children facing the hurdles and challenges in life.

I will make sure that I have a routine that involves relaxation time for my son, I remind myself of the challenges we both face. I will ensure that I remain calm and confident so that he has the impression that homework is not a job to be done but an essential and enjoyable part of spending time together.

Take care and let me know if your challenge is that you are unsure of how to do the homework. I remember trying to help me eldest son who is gifted and talented in maths and science. It was about knowing which books or websites to refer to so I could understand. I eventually decided to find other parents who had children finding it challenging to understand the school work or the school work was not demanding enough. I have three children each with very different educational and social needs that is why I know we must share our knowledge, skills and experiences.

Cally please visit my site :http://www.somespecialpeople.com/

Please let me know if you have a book to review or have a review to share.

Why is resilience so vital to success?

Hi everyone,

Thanks for checking in with me. I am so grateful for you taking an interest in me.

I have a new book review service on my website:http://www.somespecialpeople.com

Let me know if you have a book that would benefit my followers.

It is so good to have the opportunity to update you on my progress. My week has been eventful and hectic but I have resilience so I will bounce back with each and every setback. I am still going to remind you of the importance of gratitude because it goes hand in hand with resilience (well for me anyway).

As I type I am supervising my middle child to complete his homework and I can tell you it is quite challenge getting him to begin, stay focused and to complete. The moans and signs and looks of disgust from this child are incredible. I have used several techniques of spreading the homework over several days and yet still it is so exhausting for this poor child and me.

How I long for this heartbreaking moment to be over. The sound track of his discomfort will soon be complete. His hands over his face and look of dismay will soon be complete, just 10 more questions to go…

It is so amazing to think that someone could be absolutely overjoyed just because a small child has completed one part the monotonous task of writing a word out several times on a sheet, until he has looked, checked covered and repeated again and again.  Then move on to questions to answerabout  tenses…Oh what joy this is and there is still more to do on Sunday.

Yet his ability to preserve and keep going even though he protests and groans he continues. Thus I am extremely impressed with this small child’s resilience. He will succeed because he has a goal. He counts down how many questions he has remaining. He asks for help when he deems it necessary.

I suggest we remind ourselves of the small victories we have had. We focus on the goals we want and have. We stay on track and accept that all good things come to those who wait, but while waiting we find some comfort and joy to help us to preserve and toughen up during the trying times.

Good luck to us all, as we make our way through this incredible minefield of parenthood. Let us continue to develop the tools we need to help to inspire, support and guide our beloved children.

We must remember to fake it until we make it, continue to develop our grit and know we are the masters of our destiny.

Take care all and let me know about your challenges and victories. Sigh when you have to, cry when you need to and do your best to find something to laugh about!

Cally

http://www.somespecialpeople.com/

The importance of gratitude

Hi everyone,

I am grateful that I have made it through the first week of school with my children. I remembered the tips and advice that we have been sharing.

It is easy to look at what someone else has and think: why can’t that be me? But do you know if they are thinking the same thing about your life?

We have so many things that we take for granted. I can guarantee you that there is someone out there wishing they had something that you have right now. We need to step out of the moment of upset and breathe. Just take 6 breaths in and hold for 2 and take 6 breaths out.

We need to try to be calm; we need to think about all those techniques that we have picked up.

Breathing has proved to be the most vital thing we can do to calm ourselves. Remember the fake it until you make it? Well breathing like we are calm can actually make our body calm.

Listening to relaxing and calming music can calm us and our children.

Going for a walk, run or dance can make our body feel much better.

Looking at a cute picture of a baby animal or a loved one can also be beneficial.

Telling yourself I am calm, I am healthy. I am excited about today can all have a positive impact.

Let us remember the winners that we are and lead the life we want to.

When we reflect on our day let it be one with minimal regrets. Live the life you want to remember be the best version of yourself today, tomorrow and from now on.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Thanks

Cally

http://www.somespecialpeople.com/